Forgive me father for it is 3 days since my last confession. In summary….southern California.
After a magnificent steak in Solvang (Geoff went for the 18oz which was even more magnificent) we headed back to the coast over a sodding great hill in the blistering heat to arrive at Santa Barbara which, in my book, is the start of SoCal. This part of the trip is all about a very different type of Merica with astonishing wealth, cheek by jowl with countless homeless people.
We have ridden the beach paths through Santa Barbara and past LA, passed the Malibu mansions and crossed Orange County (the OC) where, in one town there were car dealerships for: McClaren, Ferrari, Maserati, Bentley and TWO for Porsche.
We are now in San Clemente and just a day away from the Mexican border.
Last night I disgraced myself. We went to a Western themed restaurant and I was guilty of ‘eyes bigger than stomach’ syndrome. In my defence I wasn’t really expecting the complimentary beef stew starter (a meal in itself) or the complimentary salad (another meal) or the fact that the ribs were not from a pig as promised but from a woolly mammoth.
I left more than I ate :-(.
I would like to introduce you to the most advanced sports food on the planet – the Little Debbie’s ‘fruit’ pie (don’t worry – no fruit is harmed in the making of little beauties!). They come in red, green and yellow (these colours have fruits associated with them but, again, I’m pretty sure there is absolutely no fruit involved – the ‘fruit’ filling is basically just a sort of lube to assist with swallowing). For $1.29 you get a pie about the size of a pack of cards that contains…….420 calories. Two of these and a bucket of Coke and you have a whole day’s intake for about 5 bucks. Even NASA has nothing to compare.
For the last 3 weeks Geoff has been busily checking into a hotel each night using my credit card. Usually this goes without a hitch but sometimes they ask for photo ID. This isn’t a problem because Geoff also has my driving licence. At no point has anyone checked the photo of my beautiful visage with his ugly mug. God bless America.
Tonight we are in Solvang – a little bit of Denmark in the California dessert.
Today was a peasy 57 miles and we were all done by 2pm, time to laze in the sun and talk bollocks. We are in Arrayo Grande, a couple of hundred miles north of LA. Tonight we are heading to a ‘western style’ restaurant. So basically hot dead cow.