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By in Sports & Fitness Comments Off on Substitute

‎British Airways may employ excellent aeronautical engineers but apparently not a decent plumber. Fixing the loos was beyond their capabilities (it must have been one he’ll of a log)‎ and so we all sat around while they found a substitute  plane, put some petrol in it and moved all the baggage across. This meant we boarded over 4 hours late and it was a VERY grumpy old man who finally landed in Seattle at 4:30 in the morning. The only bright spot is that as best I can tell, BA owe me 500 quid compensation!
But enough of that….. I have a Love Machine. In fact it is an identical black Town and Country to the one we had last year and I have decided that is the SAME love machine.  ‎I will find some old dead skin under the carpets and have it checked for my DNA just to prove it…….either that or just look under the front offside wheel arch for traces of ditch.
I have filled it full of crap, strapped a bike rack to the back and generally started the process of making it into a pig stye. ‘Treat em mean, keep em keen’ I say.‎  
‎This morning I enjoyed Merican service at its worst. I realised that, while I have route maps for   the riders, I am missing one for me. So I toddled down to the Fed-Ex print shop. ‘Excuse me, could you photocopy this for me’ I asked. ‘No, it is copyright and we cannot participate in a fellony’ said the jobsworth. ‘fair enough’ I replied, ‘can you tell me where I might find a photocopier that I could use to make the copy myself?’. She must had spent at least 0.1 seconds giving this careful thought before saying that there was no such facilty in the area, state, country and possibly galaxy.
As I headed for the door I spied a large shiny photocopier with a label saying ‘MAKE YOUR OWN PHOTOCOPIES HERE’. So I did while shit-for-brains watched me from behind the counter. God Bless America.
Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone on the EE network.

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