OK, here is what happened.

After 1 or 2 too many jam jars I went out like a light on Sunday night.  At about 2am I was woken by a car alarm and, thinking that it might be the Love Machine, fumbled on the bedside table for the keys.  Hmm…..no keys.  The alarm switched off (it wasn’t the LM) but I was left wondering where the keys were. An hour later I had turned the room upside down and I still hadn’t found what I was looking for.  The obvious conclusion was that they were in the bar but this wouldn’t reopen until early afternoon and, by that time, if the keys were not there it would be too late to get anything done about and still get everyone’s bags to the next stop. 

Bugger.

I called Avis who said that all they could do was send a truck with a new Love Machine and take the old one away, for which they would relieve me of a magnificent $375.  OK, I said, but how do I get all my stuff out of the car?  Ah, for that we will first send another truck to help you open the car, for which we will only want a measly $55.

Bugger.

At 4am the $55 truck arrived and quickly hooked up the lever so I could open the door…. which I did.  The Love Machine has a VERY load alarm!  In what seemed like 11 years but was probably actually 5 minutes we got the battery disconnected and silence was restored…..well, actually there were still quite a few barking dogs, crying babies and people throwing things at me from balconies.  The next delight was the discovery that the rear doors and tailgate (which are electrically operated) could not be opened meaning that everything had to come out of the front doors.  The trouble is I had 7 large bike boxes in the back. 

Bugger.

Since the replacement LM wouldn’t arrive until 10:30am I went back to bed and spent a sleepless couple of hours trying to work out how to get large boxes out of small doors.  By 6:30 I gave up and got up to do battle.  I am still not ENTIRELY sure how but I got the boxes out and then stripped everything else and settled down for a wait.  My room-mate returned to the motel where everyone else was staying ( we were in a different motel) and happened to explain my predicament to the girl on the desk.  She very kindly found the number for the manager of the bar next door and called him.  Wonder-on-wonders, he told her that there was an emergency key in the drawer.  She got the key, opened the bar and found my car keys.  In the  nick of time I was able to cancel  the replacement Love Machine. 

At least one person reading this will be shaking her head and saying ‘Oh for f&%*ks sake, not again!”.  Look on the bright side, it gave me a chance to completely re-organise all the crap in the Love Machine and I found a pen that I had dropped down the side of a seat.

We have just crossed into California and have finally had a couple of sunny days.  The south Oregon coast is very beautiful so everyone enjoyed the day and we now have the Redwoods to look forward to.  For the guests this is exciting but I’m just thinking ‘oh no, not more sodding Redwoods’.

Yours sheepishly.